Craig Breen speaks Franglais!

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You know those things that they call mash-ups – like when the curiously-attired Brazilian fiftysomething Wagner spent week after week shouting to the tune of ‘Love Shack’ and ‘She Bangs’ at the same time on X-Factor? Well the craze has apparently crossed over to rally PR.

Peugeot has issued some seriously interesting news and mashed it up with one of the most preposterous ‘quotes’ ever to grace a press release. The news is that hugely talented young Irishman, Craig Breen, will be driving very fast in a Peugeot 208 R5 on this year’s FIA European Rally Championship. The WRC’s 2012 champion in S2000 and 2011 FIA Academy winner is a major star in the making, and his eight rounds on the ERC will be spent developing the 208 R5 – no doubt with the accumulation of silverware also following in due course.

This news was twinned an alleged quote from Breen that was clearly written by a French PR person in their very best English. It’s endearingly awful. In fact they’ve become our new favourite PR person in the world. Here’s what they imagined Craig’s response to the Peugeot call-up to be:

“This is incredible and beyond my dreams. I am really excited to work with a manufacturer like Peugeot Sport, I think of it since I was a young boy. To arrive here in front of a nice season is a good position to be in. My objective is to show good speed and challenge for some victories on a regular basis. For the testing program, I will give the best I can to support the development of the 208 Type R5.

As the ERC continues to make inroads into people’s affections this year, the addition of the likeable Breen and a bonkers PR team is another major plus. Meanwhile, here’s Wagner in what we at WRF sincerely hope is a preview of how the rest of Peugeot’s press releases will be put together this year…

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Aaaaaargh! It’s Ken Block!

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Not enough action for you in Monte Carlo? Well fear not, rally fans, because Ken Block is returning to the WRC to bend more Ford Fiestas. Hooray!

For the second year running Block has announced that he will make three WRC outings at the wheel of an M-Sport Fiesta, naming his section of the Dovenby squad’s service area as the Hoonigan Racing Division.

“Once again, I’m trying to fit in as much driving as possible,” explained Block.“Unlike most drivers who only compete in one series, I’m very fortunate to be able to race in so many different disciplines. Between competing in X Games, Global RallyCross, Rally America, Gymkhana GRID and WRC, It’s going to be an awesome year. I can’t wait to get it started.”

Is it just us, or is The Block looking increasingly like Beaker from The Muppets? Anyway, a new livery featuring a lot of bright blue instead of his traditional fluorescent yellow-y green apparently signifies Block’s new Hoonigan thing, although his sponsor line-up of DC trainers and Monster energy drink remains unchanged…

“With the name change to Hoonigan Racing Division, we wanted to take the look in a slightly different direction, one that has been inspired by my love of 80s and early 90s skateboarding graphics, as well as Miami Vice-era offshore powerboats and a dash of hair metal and old school hip hop mixed in for good measure.”

We can’t wait.

Colin’s tribute gets an airing

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As we look forward to the opening day of the 2013 WRC, there’s more good news to be had. The BBC will be screening the third of its motor sport heroes trilogy, when Olympic cycling star Sir Chris Hoy profiles his own hero, 1995 world champion Colin McRae, on Sunday, January 27.

The programme will be aired at 9pm after the first episode in the new season of Top Gear. The programme, originally scheduled for broadcast on December 28 2012, disappeared at the last minute. It should make for riveting viewing. As with the previous programmes on Sir Stirling Moss by Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Jackie Stewart by James Martin, the star presenter will progress towards driving an iconic car from his subject’s career – in this case a Subaru Impreza 555, similar to the one in which McRae clinched his title.

WRC 2013 – let’s get cracking, shall we?

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It’s the Monte Carlo Rally, good people. That’s the Monte Carlo Rally! Cue the lights, cue the music, cue Kermit the Frog running past going ‘yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy’.

Unlike Kermit, however, the Monte’s not on TV… unless you happen to have access to the Red Bull-owned Servus TV station in what used to be called ‘Greater Germany’, you watch Sky TV in New Zealand or you have S4C in Wales. Everyone else should form an orderly queue to hear Jon Desborough’s pearls of wisdom here:

This is the official Red Bull rally channel!

So huddle over your laptops for the time being and let’s share our enjoyment of the Monte by whatever means possible.

Regulars here will know who’s who, what’s what and where’s where – so I’m not previewing it. Oh, all right then… there are Qatar-sponsored Fords that are painted to look like the UAE flag, UAE-sponsored Citroëns painted to look like Christmas decorations and Red Bull-sponsored VWs that have cost €100 million to get this far, so they look uncommonly sensible. There’s also supporting action from privately-entered WRC cars, the new support class structure to enjoy and it looks like there will be plenty of snow.

Despite the return of Dani Sordo to a competitive team (Citroën) and the arrival of Volkswagen, if I were a betting man I’d be putting money on Loeb.

All will be revealed in the next few days, though. Hurrah!

If you’re not a regular on the blog yet then feel free to dig around and piece together a season preview of your own. You will find babies that look like Mikko Hirvonen, filthy old Toyota Corollas and Daniel Elena’s true vocation as the Go Compare man. And some other stuff, of course. Not all of it very sensible.

You won’t find anything about today’s announcements by Hyundai about its plans for 2014, however. Why? Because it’s very poor form to try and hijack the start of a real, live championship with yet more pictures of a concept car and not one actual piece of news. Nice try, Hyundai – now run along and come back when you’ve done something interesting.

Newsround… Newsround… Newsround…

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It’s the Autosport International Show, folks. This means that there will be drunken chaos in the Metropole Hotel tonight, during which the subject of conversation will include such nuggets as:

Michal Kociuszko will contest a full season in the WRC at the wheel of his Lotos-backed, Motorsport Italia-run MINI, sans the Red Bull Mobile advertising

The Czech National Team Fiesta WRC of Martin Prokop will appear in an extended schedule of 11 out of the 13 WRC rounds this year after opting to run DMACK tyres

Ford has relevealed its definitive 2013 livery. As was pictured last month it blends the burgundy of Qatar with the green of Castrol and black of M-Sport. A late infusion of blue stops it looking quite so much like the UAE flag… although it still does!

Jänner Rallye winner Jan Kopeçky is pushing Škoda Motorsport to extend his season to give him a shot at winning the FIA ERC title

Petter Solberg will be putting his marriage vows to the test next weekend when he debuts his new Ford Esort RS1800 in a local snow rally, co-driven by wife Pernilla

Prodrive will be entering a pair of MINI S2000s in WRC2 for Ukrainian drivers Valery Gorban and Oleksii Kikireshko, sponsored by Mentos and Chupa Chups. Apparently there is more mileage in this than the confectionary giant’s previous sponsorships, including Sheffield Wednesday football club.

A strong case for moving to Wales

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British WRC fans might want to start looking at property in Wales if they want to keep up with the action on TV next weekend. While precious few other channels across Europe feature the Monte Carlo Rally in their listings, the Welsh-language station S4C will continue broadcasting WRC with Welsh commentary and English subtitles on its programme Ralio.